Thursday, April 9, 2015

I'm the weirdo... I get it.

Have you ever noticed that making new friends as an adult is harder than dating?  Don't lie either.  I've struggled with this a LOT in my adult life.

With dating, it's easy... see someone interesting, have a conversation, and then ask them to hang out sometime. There is NO hidden context here. Hi.. I like you.. let's date. WHY is friendship so much harder.

I'm really good with casual friendships. People at work, church, moms I see etc. It's super easy to just chat when you're around each other, make friends on Facebook, and then say goodbye. This friends is where most of my social interactions end.

I have been fortunate enough to come across several people in my life who sort of just imprinted themselves to me. These are my kind of people. They don't give you the option of saying no.. they are in your life... they know you're friends.. and they take that assumed role of lead friend. These are the same friends that you NEVER have to worry about making small talk with because they know how to talk and open up like you've known each other your entire lives. THESE ARE SO MY PEOPLE.

One of my top fears (besides public speaking) is small talk. I hate it!! I just don't thrive there, and I can guarantee you this... try it on me. I'll fumble and tumble all around and you will wonder how on earth I have any friends at all. This is where I fail on the getting from "casual friends" to "let's hang out and be real friends" part. 

It goes like this.... "So umm.. did you watch ummm, crap I don't watch very much TV"... "Read anything lately?.... Oh ummm no? ummm.. *crickets are chirping... sweat is DRIPPING off of my head* "OK, well I'm going to go (fill in the blank here.. it DOESN'T even matter) I'm so strangled by anxiety.

So... all of this rambling to say. I suck at Friendships. I suck at going from knowing each other to being "friends".. and for those of you who managed to get past my awkward weirdness and love me anyway... I thank GOD for you daily!!

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