We're wearing Orange

Today my family is wearing orange. Not as a tribute to my alma mater, but as a tribute to a precious baby that didn't get to celebrate his first birthday.

Stories of parents that suffer this kind of loss break my heart. There are no words to describe the heartache they must be feeling. I just can't imagine.

I know that this is something you CAN NOT prevent, but I am constantly holding my breath praying that God doesn't need one of my sweet angels. I held my little Ainsley longer than usual last night and thanked God for her life. I gave Anthony extra hugs and kisses at bed.

Ainsley was born only a couple of days before Baby Owen. My prayers go out to that family. I simply can not imagine.

To the Bissing Family: I don't know you and we've never met, but my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm praying that you continue to find peace throughout this experience. Owen lives on and has helped carry on life. He was so beautiful and a warrior indeed.

An Attitude Adjustment

If having a second child has taught me anything, it is this.

You can do SO much more than you ever thought. Although I have always wanted more than one child I had a panic attack about a month before Ainsley was born. HOW am I going to be able to love her as much as I do Anthony. HOW can I bond with her. HOW can I change two sets of diapers (we are STILL potty training Anthony), how can I afford for 2 kids to go to daycare, how and when am I going to take a shower, brush my hair, cook nutritious meals, go to school? After almost 7 months of living with those questions I have a simple answer: You just do.

It's so easy to fall into the mindset of "woe is me" and "life is too hard". It has really taken me a change in perspective to overcome this way of thinking, and I remember the exact moment it happend. It was one of the first Saturdays that I had the kids all by myself after Ainsley was born, right before Anthony's 2nd birthday. Both babies were being fussy, not sleeping, Anthony was having a HARD time with the idea of mommy not being able to just pick him up when he demanded it, and things were out.of.control! So much so that I just sat in the floor and cried. THEN, it hit me. Get up... this is NOT hard. Just take a breath, and do it. I regained composure put little Miss in her swing, got Anthony settled, and took a breath.

Ever since that meltdown and serious attitude adjustment things have been easier. Things are by no means easy, but they are easier. For starters, I have the most amazing baby ever. She never gets fussy anymore, she sleeps fantastic, and she lets me put her down. Anthony is beyond amazing too. He is so kind and gentle with his sister it brings tears to my eyes. He always tries to make her laugh, or if she's touching too rough he grabs her calmly and shows her how to "touch soft" on his arm. The jealousy and meanness between them never really existed, and I am so thankful for that.

I really do joke that life go easier with 2 babies than it was with 1. I think just relaxing helped out with that. I have great kids, an amazing husband who helps, a daycare that I could not be more proud of, a job that helps keep things rolling (for now), and great family to help out when things really do get overwhelming.

So let this be a word of encouragment to those who are struggling with a second child, or the idea of having a second child. It isn't that bad, and I have had SO many more good moments than bad. It really is amazing what you can accomplish that you never thought you could.

Ok. I'm behind

Really really behind. My last post consisted of me throwing up on Anthony during a morning sickness fit. Now... almost a year later things have changed dramatically.

Ainsley Elizabeth was born in November. I never invisioned my life as a mother to a little girl. I always thought i'd have a house FULL of loud crazy boys. I am so happy that God had other plans for my family. Ainsley is amazing!! I could not have been more blessed, and I am so excited to raise that sweet little girl alongside my sweet little boy.

The hubs is still traveling a lot, but the kids and I have fallen into a pretty good routine. I took my full maternity leave with Ainsley (not just the 2 weeks like I did with Anthony) and it gave me a chance to get settled into a routine of cleaning, bathing, organizing, etc. It's funny to think that things run more smoothly with two kids than they did with one. Ha!

I am going to "TRY" and blog more.. and FB less. That is my goal for myself over the next several months. It's easier for me to put it all out there... than to just throw out life updates one line at a time. Or.. so it seems. We'll see how that works.

Well that's just wonderful

I'm terrible at blogging. I constantly remember all sorts of fun exciting things I want to share with the world.. and the second I sit down at my computer.. my mind is blank.. or I play on Facebook, go shopping etc and forget that the blog world exists. I want to be a better blogger. I think it's healthy. I really don't care who reads this thing... I haven't even really given the address out to people. I like the idea of computer diary thoughts that MIGHT be seen by someone else and MIGHT mean something to them too. I dunno. I've had lots of ideas about what I'd like to start blogging about.

I recently discovered a book (that I am ordering soon) that discusses girlfriends and how you need GOOD ones and how to ditch the bad ones. I'm very excited to read this book, and I thought it might be fun to share my HORRIBLE girlfriend stories with you... as well as some of my very own meangirl moments in life too. I am definately not perfect, and I have as bad moments on my side as I have mean girls of my own to share. (No... I won't use names... BUT... you might know me well enough to know some of them)

Pregnancy is wearing me out. I thought the 24/7 sickness that came with my first pregnancy was rough. It really really was. This time is a totally different level of difficult. I was only sick (knock on wood) for the first 16ish weeks of my pregnancy this time consistently... and have only had a few episodes since that marker, BUT... chasing around a 1 year old with a watermellon tucked into my shirt is no easy task in this heat either. I guess you take the good with the bad... and in the end.. it's ALL good.

Anyway. I'll expand more on this stuff later... I just wanted to let the world.. and myself know that I'm still here.

Judgement

So a friend of mine... well.. yea... I guess friend made a kind of snarky comment to me the other day regarding the new vehicle I purchased for my husband. The comment more or less insinuated that I was a hypocrite.

I do often preach/judge people for being irresponsible with their money. I believe that if you have excessive debt you PROBABLY shouldn't eat out all the time, go to expensive concerts, have new cars, and most importantly.. do all of these things while whining to your friends about how poor you are. Yep. That's me. I think people should be responsible with their money. Sue me.

First of all, this comment ticked me off and caught me VERY much off guard. First of all, my husband and I work VERY hard for our cash and we have no debt to speak of besides the house and a the cars. Second... there were reasons that this truck purchase (although quite extreme) were actually going to HELP our family fiscally. In case any of YOU care to judge too.. I'll explain our purchase. My husband recently got a "promotion" to a different area of work. For this type of work he can either.. drive his own truck, or drive one of the company trucks. For the last month he's driven a company truck. There are certain reimbursements that come with driving your own truck. 1) You can charge $50/day for the use of the truck 2) Mileage 3) Mobile Office $25/day

Let's do some math. Even without points 2 and 3 he is able to charge for the use of the truck. Assuming he works a 5 day workweek he more than makes his truck payment with this reimbursement... not to mention the other items involved. So.... although the truck is more expensive and will COST us more a month... it will MAKE us more a month as well and we'll be able to apply MORE money to our debt in the long run.

So yes. We made a ridiculously expensive purchase, only to be able to make money back on it and save more for our future. Thanks for judging... there's my explanation. Jeesh people.

Mexico

Ab and I have been on quite a few trips in our short time together, but usually they are quick jumps to a nearby city for a baseball game or some time with friends etc. THIS year... we decided to plan big. His parents invited us to go with them to Mexico for 10 days. We were planning a trip to SC last October, but that didn't pan out and this seemed like a great trip. 1) I've never been out of the country 2) I've never been to the beach (Except for the frozen beach we saw in San Francisco on our honeymoon). This was the perfect excuse to get away. The last year has been exhausting on us. With a new baby in our lives, Ab's hectic travel schedule, and ALLLL of the trips to the doctor, and finding out we were expecting again... we were pumped to go relax and think about NOTHING for a few days.

The idea of leaving Anthony for that long freaked me out. I even tried to change our travel plans to come home sooner, but couldn't manage it. I've never spent more than a couple of nights away from him, and I was TERRIFIED he'd be missing me as much as I missed him. I think deep down though.. I was afraid he wouldn't miss me at all. No mom wants to feel like she isn't needed.

The truth is.. the trip was great. I had a wonderful time. I read a TON of books (well 6), and got a decent base tan. Ab and I went on a date or two, and we had some great time with family. I can see why his family spends so much time down there. I look forward to going back someday.
He had a great time, he did miss his mommy and daddy, but he had a great time with Grandma and PaPa.

I recommend that any couple with a small child, take some time for yourselves, be adults for a while, and have a relaxing dinner or two without a child beaning you with a hot dog :)

Baby #2 is coming soon!!

Well, I've pretty much broke the news to everyone close to me so I'd say it's safe to put it out there on the WWW :)

We're expecting our second child around Thanksgiving of this year. I'm about 12 weeks right now. So I'm almost done with 1/3rd of my pregnancy. YAY~!!!

I've decided that I don't do pregnancy well... AT ALL!! My body is a little selfish. It hates to be interrupted and boy howdy those hormones from pregnancy send my body into a frenzie. This pregnancy has been a LOT better than my first, but I'm still struck with some pretty awful nausea. Feeling sick isn't so hot.. and it's especially worse when you have to chase around a 1 year old in the meantime. Poor little Anthony has no idea what to expect when I'm sick. He just stares at me. The worst night we've had so far happened to be while Daddy was out of town... (this is a bad mommy story so feel free to laugh at me)

Anthony and I have a pretty set evening routine. We eat dinner, we play, and we watch our "night night" shows. All was going well with dinner this particular night... I even managed to do a little cleaning on the house while A ate. I was giving myself a mental pat on the back for being such a good mom and housekeeper. I think God decided to humble me b/c of this. After dinner we were playing and getting ready to watch our shows when it hit me.


Oh no.. I don't feel so good. I ran to the bathroom and alllllllll of my food began coming up. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Little Anthony was confused and followed me into the bathroom to check on me. I did my best to distract him in between visits with ralph, but he got a little tooooo curious, and as my food is FLOWING out of my mouth.. yes disgusting right?? I see this little hand go in front of me. Oh no. Really?? Did I just puke on my kid?? A few moments later, I regain composure and look over to check on the boy. He is standing there... frozen.. examining his little hand/arm and wondering What.the.eff... just happened to him. I knew I was no where near ready to help him too much, so I ripped off his shirt.. wiped him down best I could... and sent him in search of a book to read to mommy. The poor little guy did so great. He got his book and sat down and immediately began chattering to me as he turned the pages. I felt horrible. Once composure was FULLY regained I stripped him down... washed him up really good... and gave him a cookie before bed.

I am probably the only mom out there who can say she threw up ON her kid. Sad.

No extreme episodes since then. THANKFULLY!! Looks like that mother of the year award just went right out the window ;)